Roy

i know a young boy who is hurt, and that is hurting me. It's always about me, isn't it? Goddamn, i wish it weren't. His name is Roy, and he's actually become an extremely handsome stylish talented young man. But when i knew him, he was just a boy, and his name rhymes with boy, so i like calling him that. I don't know what good it would do for him, if i prayed. But, God, please heal him, please fix him. What can i give to you, or trade with you, for you to fix him? God there are no lessons that need to be taught that is worth the price of a man. God, please perform this miracle. Please God, Roy needs you; we all need you. God, i will listen, I will kneel. Please God, just once.

God, what are you trying to do or say with this cruel experiment? If you had taken his life, would i cry as hard as if you have taken his talent, as you have. Am I crying for a loss of life or a loss of talent? I am crying for a loss of talent, a loss of future, a loss of potential, a loss of love and happiness. I am crying for a loss of life.

I never understand why people ask, "Why is there pain & suffering in the world?" I've heard of so many unsatisfactory answers. I used to answer, "we can ask Jesus when we see him face to face" or "don't ask questions without answers." I am asking that now, because i care, because i am sad, because i am hurt. Please God, stop it all.