After two months, I have finally checked my email two days ago (refer to Aug 23). This is the email account to which only a few friends write--good friends who i have forsaked, and my professor. I have rejected this account for fear that my professor will write to me something hurtful. Something like, "You suck. You suck dick." For months, i have neglected this responsibility, yet never letting it off my mind. I checked two days ago, found a brief email with a few questions asked over a month ago, to which i responded briefly, and mourned for fear of the future. He responded briefly again with a few notes.
I wrote again today, with my revised outline and revised schedule, finishing my email with, "I hope that I will be able to follow this schedule. Thank you for your ongoing support and understanding."
He responded after a few hours, "All we can do with time is our best."
What... gentle... kindness, i have never felt before. I cried. I forced myself to cry. All i long for now is human contact--honest, sincere, and perfect, like i have never had before.
My fears are absolved. I experience relief, redemption.
No comments:
Post a Comment