Top Hat and Tails

(saturday evening at the Shaw Conference Center)

This is UADC year-end dinner and dance, and it was a beautiful experience. In class, I feel pretty confident because I know my steps, and I know my alignment-- which wall and which corner to face. But on the new dance floor, which was completely vast and foreign, I was lost. Everyone else seems to be more expert, and of course that contributed to my nervousness, and hence I felt even more lost.

But certainly, I enjoyed myself (I always do). It was enjoyable to watch others enjoying themselves, to know what to aspire to, and to chat with various and multifarious individuals. Somehow, it seems people are just very friendly there, perhaps because people are expecting to dance with people they don’t already know. Curiously, I shook hands with a number of engineers.

I really don’t have much fear for approaching people for conversation. Well, maybe I’ll take that back, because sometimes I do. If I really want them to like me, I feel that I must impress them—with humour, intelligence, or wit. That really intimidates me, and for fear of failure or rejection from someone I am fond of, I dare not approach them. This is really unfortunate, but I am working on it.